The Chicka Sisterhood

They aren’t usual, nor terribly original for that matter. Most girls I meet have a route in life they’ve planned out. Whether it’s marriage, children, career, everyone seems to have a plan. That’s not my sort of plan. These are the things I want to do for the rest of my life:

Be aware of wonder. I want to walk into forests and revel in the beauty of thousands of years staring down at me from branches. I want the magnificent power of this earth to continue to take my breath away every chance it gets.

I want to read everyday of my life. It was my first love and I’d be content with it as my last.

I want to stay open to emotion. I like the fact that Polar Bears dying and countries being bombed still make me cry. It is important to me not to become jaded in the ways of the world. I am not alright with them, and I never want to be.

I want to remember that the way you treat others directly effects them. Not only just today, but potentially for the rest of their life. Be patient with children, teach them well and give them the tools they need to learn and suceed everyday.

I want my family to be in my heart always. I want to continue my most valued relationships and let themĀ  blossom into adulthood.

I want photographs and writing to be an essential part of my being. They will tell my story when I no longer can.

I want to swim in the ocean at 3 am whenever I get the compulsion.

I want to see beauty in everyday occurences, and never let life slip through my hands.

I want to appreciate love, and not take the truth of it for granted.

I want to smile in the sunshine.

Just the short short of a long list… But it’s a list I’ve decided to keep. To remind myself that there is more to this life than today, and the decisions I make now are what will allow me to be happy then.


{April 24, 2008}   Sight

I’ve come to the conclusion that people see what they want to see. We all hate change; we all hate the idea of being left behind. And while we may know that the reason we are born is to overcome our own failings and leave this world a better place, we struggle with the concept. The truth is, the way we view the world determines the way the world shapes around us. There is no such thing as truth or illusion when talking about sight. What I see when looking at the world is different from what you see; let’s honor our differences and be kind to one another.

What do I see? A beautiful girl. Finally.

Sight, copyright CMP, 2008

{April 4, 2008}   6am

Self doubt creeps into the room in the middle of the night.

What did she mean when she said, he knows what you look like, right?

Am I so terrible looking?

And of course he knows what I look like.

Your self portraits aren’t you.

They’re me. More than anything else in the world, they’re me.

I don’t see you in them. He knows what you look like, right?

Surely the heavy-set girl can get the boy.

Surely the heavy-set girl deserves to get the boy.

Surely the heavy-set girl is a desireable partner and soulmate.

What did she mean? I look hideous. Why would I even consider this?

I don’t know. What’s the likelihood this is going to go anywhere, anyway? Now, how’s dinner for you on the 30th? It’s the only day I can do it. You can tell me about this photography… thing… hobby…

et cetera